Missing Parodykage
by Darklord Fizz
Summary: Welcome to a world that a bored final fantasy fan wrote. A world that parodies most things that aren't funny. A world where it's to hard to get noticed, so he feed of other peoples fame. This is the world of the Parodykage. Part of Missing Hokage!
1. I Choose You, Pikachu! Wait A Minute

Hello! Say hello to the parody of all parodies. Perfect Lionheart's Missing Hokage challenge. Just in case your not familiar with the challenge, here it is, directly copy and pasted from his profile page (Here at Fizz productions, we do things professionally!)

"There is a rather substantial sub-group in Naruto fiction. You've all read them. They are those stories where, right after trying to prevent the beloved Uchiha's defection, Konoha throws Naruto out.

I've recently become tired enough of that whole genre to issue to a challenge.

The Missing Hokage challenge.

We all know how Tsunade only returned to Konoha because of Naruto. Well, in this case, the start of the divergence is when the council starts to get all huffy, overruling her about the boy so they can banish him, Tsunade DOES NOT just sit back and take it like a little lost lamb.

If they are throwing out the reason she returned to town in the first place, she goes with him. Thus, you have the Missing Hokage, as Tsunade just packs up and walks out of town with Naruto. Shizune, Tonton and Hinata all trailing along.

But she's smart enough not to leave without first using that Hokage stamp to her advantage. 'Team Hokage' are pardoned of all past crimes, released from all future obligations, and are walking out with several notable treasures, including the Scroll of Forbidden Seals and a sizable fraction of the town's treasury - all released to herself under her authority as Hokage.

If they want to treat her family like crap, she can return that favor.

Things to happen in this challenge:

One, Tsunade took the hat with her.

Two, she takes both Naruto and Hinata on as her apprentices, after promoting both to chunin on her authority as Hokage. Naruto goes through some extreme, and probably ongoing, chakra control training, but both Naruto and Hinata start powering up, learning her strength and medical techniques.

Three, Tsunade and Shizune start studying from the Scroll of Forbidden Seals, and secrets from it are held out as rewards to the two kids for successfully completing bits of their medical training.

Four, the group goes through a period of being wandering treasure hunters, like Indiana Jones, but ninja. They can move through any countries or encounter any characters the author likes while doing this. One preferred treasure hunt is to penetrate a certain castle and RETRIEVE, not destroy, the Lizard summoning contract held within.

Five, One of the things they walked out with was Sarutobi's Monkey Summoning contract. Holding multiple summon contracts is possible, but most people have no reason to, not even having enough chakra to summon one boss, let alone need many.

Six, because of their skills and treasures (both taken from Konoha and recovered on hunts), ALL of the Hidden Villages, major and minor, are trying to get the Missing Hokage to settle down in their village. Some use fair means like persuassion and incentives, others play foul.

Seven, the Kitsune Clan bloodline from my fic, Chunin Exam Day, is available for Naruto and Hinata if you want to use it. That includes the regeneration, chakra boost, nearly prehensile tail and parabolic ears, although if you can find a way to add Wood or Ice you are welcome to them.

Eight, this should be a Naruto/Hinata matchup, though harems are also acceptible.

Back around town, the following should happen:

One, people are very upset, for any number of reasons. People, especially Team 7 (whether Sasuke was retrieved or not), who expected things to get better with Naruto gone are disappointed. If anything, stuff they expected to improve with Naruto gone are going the other way.

Two, with no one doing the paperwork, Konoha's infrastructure and mission assignments are doing poorly.

Three, in response to number two, above, the village council that drove her away eventually decides to revoke Tsunade's title of Hokage for extreme dereliction of duty (this, after her face is at least partly carved onto the monument). In her place, they appoint Jiraiya, this time successfully getting him to accept the post.

Four, Jiraiya tries to get the council to revoke their decree of banishment on Naruto. They refuse. He points out that they have now directly opposed four of the six Hokages they've ever had on this issue. The Fourth wanted him to be seen as a hero, the Third wanted him treated better, the Fifth left town with him when they banished him, and now Jiraiya, the Sixth, wants him back and they won't agree. When they still refuse, he pulls almost an identical exit to Tsunade's, leaving town with a few genin and loads of treasures to go join up with Tsunade. He takes the newly made replacement hat with him.

Five, soon after the departure of the Sixth Hokage, they appoint a Seventh: Kakashi.

Six, although Kakashi stays in town, ALL of his bad habits as a genin teacher carry over to his tenure as Hokage, and between his extreme lateness and laziness, having Kakashi as Hokage is almost no better than having no Hokage at all. The town is going to pieces, the clans are unhappy, and NOBODY can do any missions because the paperwork on everything is so far behind. Konoha literally starts going to pieces, and some factions become desperate to get one of their missing Hokages back."

Ok, go and check it out yourself! I didn't plagiarize or change anything! Next, this is pretty much directly saying "Bash Team 7!" by the whole Team 7 thinks it'll be better without Naruto. What? You're saying… you want me to bash team 7? I can do that. But I'll go extreme on this mission. Just like you, Lionheart, I'll bash Sasuke with a bat! You do it in "Chunin Exams Day" so I'll do it too! Lastly, this is not a story to take seriously. For realz yo, I really don't care what you readers think, I don't care if you hero worship Lionheart, I don't care if you don't like Sasuke, this is for MY enjoyment, if you like it, more the merrier, eh? You don't like it? I don't care. And if you flame I have a little surprise…

Anyways, story commence!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Perfect Lionheart, Pokémon, Charlie bit me – Again, Mario, The One Piece Theme Song, or F-Zero. There WILL be more added on to this.

Chapter One: I Choose You, Pikachu!!! Wait A Minute…

"All right I brought Sasuke back! Nice. Now, ignoring the fact that I totally powned this n00b, I'll proceed to get my unscratched body get beaten by Sakuma, wait, its Sakura right? Oh yes. Sakura I believe. Hahaha! There she is now! Hey Sakura!" Naruto said to himself as he shouted and greeted his Sasuke worshipper, whoops, I mean teammate, whew, saved my self there!

Sakura punched him in the face, ignoring the TOTAL plot device this he is doing, whoops, I mean she, how silly of me? Hahahahaha! But anyway, on with the story "Naruto! You jerk! You promised you'd bring him back and you did! I am somehow upset by this! FALCOOOON PUUUUNCH!!!!" She shouted as she punched our blonde protagonist in the face and she started crying at Sasuke's obliterated body cause Naruto is just THAT awesome!!! "Sasuke, what did he do you! I'll avenge your death!" She shouted as she pulled out a kunai out of her kunai pouch and charged at the awesome ninja that is clearly better then everyone.

Tsunade appeared in front of Sakura and grasped her hand "Stop you crazy fangirl! Do you have any idea what your doing! Sasuke's not dead! There's nothing to avenge! You just want an excuse for Naruto to leave! Again, ignoring the plot device, I'm going to go sulk in my office. Carry on." Tsunade poofed in the smoke and left Sakura there to kill Naruto.

Sakura shrugged her shoulders and chucked a knife in the smoke only for Sasuke to call out in a perfect British accent "Ow Sakura! That really hurt!"

Sakura got a panicked look on her face, and shouts "OMG!!! GHOOOOST!!!" She pulls a baseball bat out of her kunai pouch and starts pounding the sulky ninja and causing him to bleed even worse then he already is. Then, after the smoke passed, she shouted "No way! You're not a ghost! You're Sasuke! This is all your fault Naruto! I hate you! Leave Konoha, ignore the plot device, and never come back. No one likes you. Except Hinata and she's a stalker…"

A tree interrupted her rant and shouted "I am not a stalker you bloody fangirl!" a kunai flew out of the tree and hit Sakura in the forehead. If only she has the power of a real ninja and wore her headband on her forehead, to bad she wears her headband as a hair holder. L0L what a loser.

Sakura got a pissed look on her face and started to shout "Shut up you Hinata! At least I'm able to admit my feelings! Growl!"

Naruto looked up from his position, somehow on the ground, and said "What! Someone likes me! I am somehow in love with you Hinata! Since the villages sux and since we p0wn, let us run away together! Yay!"

Hinata jumped from her position in the tree and shouted "Let's get some money from that Hokage chick first!"

The ran to the Hokage tower as fast as there little legs could take them.

_-_Meanwhile in Mushroom Kingdom… uh… I mean Hokage Office _-_

"Tsunade! Get in here you Hokage! We wanna kick Naruto out and since according to fanfiction rule 79: The Ninja Council are evil gods who don't need the leader of there villages permission to do whatever they want. And they all hate Naruto" An intercom shouted as Tsunade sings a certain rap…

"… His names Zolo, he's like a samurai! And a L-A-D-Y Nami's not shy! Usopps doin that marksman thing! And Sanji's cookin for the would be king… wait a second… kick Naruto out! I don't think so chica! Go! Plot Device Stamp!" *Boom* Tsunade slammed a stamp that had the kanji for Plot Device on a random piece of paper that in effect, gets her money, lets her do crimes, lets her steal things, and gets her out of work. Sounds like a plan. "Yo! Shizune!"

The Hokages slave ran into the room and asked "Yes my mistress?" She bowed down and Tsunade laughed evilly.

"Yes, my pet. Gather the weird eyed one and Slashy McOrange Pants! And pack our stuff too"

"Yes master" The woman said in a strangely deep voice as she poofed a way in a flash of dark energy.

Tsunade started to laugh evilly, until she started to cough violently, "Man, I should cut down on the ciggies!"


	2. The Melt and Other Cliche Bloodlines

YO!!! Sorry, I've been super busy for a full 5 months! I got an XBOX, so that was 2 months, got grounded (again) aint I a little rebel? And schools been a big impact. This chapter is detected to the stock c2 that accepted me, the 4 reviews when I wrote this, the 152 hits, the 2 favorites and the 2 alerts. I appreciate the support you give this crappy parody, and hope you continue to read! This chapters plot is the unwanted bloodlines that authors feel the 'need' to give the characters, Hinata and her ineffectual powers, and the breakage of the 4th wall to an extent that's not even funny. Also, I'm putting in Pudgypudge's cliché list, Dark Hero Orion's rant type list, and the anime cliché list. So look out for that!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all, no references, not the challenge this story falls under, and not Naruto, obviously.

Chapter 2: The Melt That Plays with Eyes and Eats Elemental Chakra!

"Yall ready to go my homies?" Tsunade asked her two students and slave and the slaves pig.

"Yes Master Tsunade."

"Yes I'm bloody ready!"

"Uh… why are all of you talking like that?"

"L0L, what a n00b. Ever body knows that excellent authors to avoid Mary-Sues, authors give there characters random and sporadic voice accents so they seem different, but are like every other character on the site!" Tsunade told the blonde ninja.

"What are we in some crappy parody of a popular challenge written by a popular author that the unknown author of this story that dislikes 'Chunin Exam Day' because the story is just an excuse to give me some sort of super harem that is totally unrealistic in everyway, EVEN in a fanfiction? And what, am I going to suddenly develop some sort of superpower that makes every other person in the story totally inefficient compared to me?!?" Naruto shouted at the sannin, while he grew a third eye on his forehead that turned into a Sharingan, one of his other eyes turned into a Byakugan, and the third formed into a Rinnegan. He partially melted into the ground and flames appeared around his body.

"Pretty much. And prepared to be flamed!"

"What do you mean? Do you mean this random and overdone bloodline that Fizz added at the last minute for a third out of nine bloodlines that I can learn?" Naruto asked with wonder in his voice.

"NO!!! You cannot break the fourth wall in this story! Do you want to be like all the other parody stories on this site? HUH FIZZ! YOU WANT US TO BE LIKE THAT!?!"

"I-I-I-I-I-I-I Think he-he-he-he does wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-wanna be like that…" Hinata stuttered slowly."

"Oh my freaking god Hinata, either get rid of your stupid speech impediment, or just stop talking. Forever. I know you're my love interest and everything, according to supreme-god-of-all-fanfics Perfect Lionheart, but your Anti-Mary Sue British accent was less unexplained and annoying then that! So for the love of all that is good and holy get rid of your stupid speech impediment!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs, still melted in the ground, due to the effects of his boss abilities of god. I mean, bloodline limits.

"GRAAAH! BRITISH RAGE! MALLOW POWER! WHO CARES IF I LACK PURPOSE? WHO CARES EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A BLOODY SPEECH IMPEDIMENT! WHO CARES IF EVERYONE AND THEIR BROTHER THINKS THAT WE SHOULD BELONG TOGETHER, INCLUDING SUPREME-GOD-OF-ALL-FANFICS, PERFECT LIONHEART! WHO CARES IF PERFECT LIONHEART THINKS PEOPLE WILL CONTINUE TO READ HIS CRAPPY FANFIC BECAUSE ALL OF THE REVIEWS GOT TO HIS BRAIN AND NOW HE THINKS THE READERS DON'T MATTER, EVEN THOUGH WITHOUT HIS READERS HE'D BE NOTHING! WHO CARES IF MALLOW IS AN UNDERUSED CHARACTER IN SUPER MARIO RPG! WHO CARES IF THIS IS JUST A POINTLESS CHALLANGE AND/OR REALITY CHECK FOR PERFECT LIONHEART! WHO CARES IF I'M JUST A PROXY FOR FIZZ FOR THAT EXACT REASON! WHO CARES IF FIZZ ISN'T ENTIRELY SURE WHAT PROXY MEANS! WHO CARES THAT HALF OF THESE WORDS AREN'T SPELLED RIGHT BECAUSE SPELL CHECK DOESN'T WORK ON SPELL CHECK? WHO CARES IF PEOPLE DON'T READ THE UNDER-RATED STORY 'THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN BOYS AND GIRLS', AN AWESOME AND GOOD FANFIC ON THIS SITE THAT IS UNDERRATED AND SHOULD HAVE MORE REVIEWERS! WHO CARES IF THIS IS JUST SOME PLOY BY FIZZ TO MAKE HIS CHARACTER COUNT LONGER! WHO CARES IF PERFECT LIONHEART IS ALL HYPE, AND NOT ALL THAT GOOD OF AN AUTHOR? I MEAN, HE'S O.K. I GUESS, BUT NOT LIKE SOME J.K. ROWLING WHO RULES THE WORLD! WHO CARES IF PERFECT LIONHEART HAS MORE IMPERSONATORS THAN SLIM SHADDY! WHO CARES IF FIZZ GOT A NEW IDEA FOR A PARODY FIC BASED ON THAT LAST SENTENCE! WHO CARES IF I JUST GOT SOME NEW EXPANSION ON MY BLOODLINE LIMIT, THE FIRST OF SEVERAL THAT SHALL SPAN LONGER THAN THE WORLD OF WARCRAFT LINE! WHO CARES IF FIZZ HATES PERFECT LIONHEART FOR THE ONLY REASON OF HIS MAIN STORY LACKING A VIABLE PLOT! IT WAS GOOD, AT FIRST, I GUESS, BUT NOW IT'S JUST AN EXCUSE FOR NARUTO TO HAVE A MASS-HAREM WITH HIS VAST COLLECTION OF CARDBOARD CUTOUT WOMEN! WHO CARES IF FIZZ STOLE THAT SENTENCE FROM SOME OTHER AUTHOR ON THE SITE, AND IF YOU KNOW WHO IT IS, BECAUSE FIZZ CAN'T REMEMBER, PLEASE SPEAK UP! FIZZ WANTS TO GIVE PROPS! WHO CARES IF MY UPGRADE'S ABILITY IS TO SHOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH CHAKRA AN OPPONENT HAS LEFT, KIND OF LIKE MP! WHO CARES IF FIZZ IS JUST MAKING THIS SERIES MORE OF AN RPG THAN IT ALREADY IS! WHO CARES IF HE IS, BECAUSE RPGS ARE AWESOME! WHO CARES IF YOU WANNA FINISH THIS RANT, BECAUSE YOU SHOULD GO READ THAT STORY BECAUSE IT IS MUCH BETTER THAN THIS ONE! WHO CARES THAT MY COMPANIONS DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT THIS OUTBURST! WHO CARES IF I SHOULD STOP SHOUTING! WHO CARES IF ALL OF THESE SENTENCES START WITH WHO CARES AND SHOULD REALLY END WITH QUESTION MARKS! WHO CARES IF MOST AUTHORS ON THE SITE LACK SENTENCE STRUCTURE ABILITY! WHO CARES IF THE CHAPTER IS ENDING! OH WAIT! I SHOULD! LIONHEART SUCKS!"

She turned around and faced her companions walking away from her rant of doom!

"You coming junior master?" Shizune said in her deep, manly voice.

"Yeah, I'm bloody coming…" Hinata said with a sigh.

A/N: There you go. Half the chapter ended in a rant by Hinata explaining my hate of a certain author and her upgrade to the Byakugan. But it's cool, since its making it even more of a shameless rip-off of all the stories on the site. And that's the point of the story. Originality. If your not original, then what's the point of the site itself? Sure, I hate Lionheart, but I got to give him props on his original story, which few authors spend the time to do. But dude, lay off Sasuke. Just give up your obsession with Naruto and move on. He's not a bad character, and he's an interesting one at that, who shows what revenge can do to a person, and the effects it has. Back to subject: original stories. Yes, this story isn't original, as its based on some unknown challenge no one cares about. But really, this site is lacking in the original story department. So here is my challenge to all you people reading this story out here. Take a chance. If you've been wanting to write a story for a while, but really don't know WHAT kind of story to do, write an OC story! That's one thing not many people have DARED to do, and I myself am working on a series of OC stories. Why? I'm pissed at all the stories on this godforsaken site! Most aren't original! Read one story on this site, you read a hundred. Wanted to do an AU story but don't want to imitate another's? Take a chance. Make your story about when Naruto can shoot grape Gatorade out of his hands. Make a story where there's a mass conspiracy and Akatsuki are the good guys and Naruto has been fighting for the bad guys. Make a story inspired of a different story! Like Naruto going into the Yuuhi family and becomes and expert at illusions. Your story begins here. The end is your decision.


	3. Nincheavement Unlocked

Yup. New chapter. But this isn't just any super fantastic chapter of all time doom and hope and wondrous stoof! I've decided to make an omake instead of doing something for the plot! Also, this chapter goes out to my only reviewer for the past chapter! Now, this omake is just something I planned on putting in as a joke, but decided it would be TONS more fun to make it a feature length film! It's like how Furry Vengeance got a bigger budget then the PSA hoped for, so they made it a movie! Something unwanted and most likely crap, but at least mine counts for quality entertainment!

Anywayz (yeah, hiphop z, just how I role)

Nincheavement Unlocked Commence!

* * *

Omake 1: Nincheavement Unlocked

"Hey SASUKE! EARTH TO SASUKE! Hey are you in there? It's your ninja move!" Naruto shouted, raising looks from all the people in the classroom. He waited for the emo ninja's response, until a black bubble in the shape of a shuriken popped beneath him.

It said: 2 Points! Copied Little Kuriboh! Rank of Achievement: Get some friends n00b!

"Huh, what be that?"

"Troublesome… Don't you know anything you troublesome ninja? That troublesome bubble that popped beneath your troublesome body is called a troublesome Nincheavement. Only troublesome parody authors haven't gone through the troublesome trouble of unlocking the easiest troublesome achievement of the troublesome act of copying the clearly funnier Little troublesome Kuriboh." Shikamaru said in his… troubled tone.

"Wow… thanks I guess… but what do I get if I get enough points?" Naruto asked.

"Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome. Troublesome." Shikamaru troublesome'd.

"Look dude! I get it! I get that like most authors, Fizz is CLEARLY too lazy to give you a personality or REASON to be lazy, so he just makes you repeat troublesome over and over. Oh and btw, shoji and cloud gazing." Naruto exclaimed.

"zOMG! Shoji AND cloud gazing! Let's beat it Chouji!"

"YAY! FOOD! YAY! DON'T CALL ME FAT! YAY! FOOD! YAY! FRIENDSHIP AND BUTTERFLIES! YAY! ANOREXIC ATTACK! YAY! REALLY FIZZ? ANOTHER CAPS LOCK SHOUT? CUT IT OUT…. NOW!" Chouji shouted at the top of his lungs. Sadly, Chouji had to shout everything because his vocal cords are so submerged in his FAT throat that nobody could hear him if he talks normal. Did I mention he likes the food? Mmm… Food…

"Wow, really. A cliché Chouji too? What else are you going to put in here Fizz? Hmm?"

A bubble popped beneath Naruto that read: Over 9000 Points. Challenged the author. Rating: You're insane. You can't win!

Suddenly, the close to empty academy was filled with various ninja.

"He-he. What could my true intentions be? You really want to know? Well I'm a good guy. Yeah, that easy to tell. And pocky tastes yummy in my wee little tummy!" Itachi shouted.

"Yeah. I'm a shark. Roar. Whatever dude, I don't GET a personality. Ever. So why should I start now?" Kisame said.

"FANGIRL NOISES!" The fangirls shouted.

"Get me the booze, Ima go gamble away our funds! Here! My Legendary Sucker is straaaaaaawberry flavored!" The clearly drunk Tsunade shouted.

"Let us go train, Sasuke. I shall teach thee Chidori. And I have a book. And a mask. And my team is dead." Kakashi stated in his monotone voice as he eye-smiled.

"I hate you Naruto! But you're still my BFF! I LUV YOU HINATA! And I have a dog." Kiba stated.

"FATE!" Neji stated.

"Kawaii! All the ninja's, especially Neji-sama-san-oni-kun-chan-daimyo-sempai-sensei-person is here! Sugoi! KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU! Gomen! Ja Ne!" Tenten Japanese'd.

"YOUTH!" Lee youth'd.

"Emo…" Sasuke emo'd…

"Genjustu! Cooking! Gauze! Thing I like! Yay! Personality!" Kurenai shouted snuggling up to Asuma.

"Yes! This is the fourth time I've gotten something to say in any given fanfic! This is awesome! Hooray for cigarettes!" Asuma said. But then he died. Darn. I am so sad.

"My troubling and mentally scarring past means nothing to fanfiction authors. As long as I get my teddy bear, my BFF, and some cookies, it's all good for me." Garra pointed out.

"Am I a girl or a boy? Hmm… it really depends on the author! Hooray for constancy!" The gender confused Haku said.

"Yes Lee! If you don't do something stupid, do something even more stupid!" Gai shouted!

"Yes sensei! If I fail to do this, I shall do something even stupider!" Lee hollered.

"Lee!"

"Gai!"

"Lee?"

"Gai! TT _ TT"

"LEEEEEEE!"

"GUY MIGHT!"

"LEE OF THE ROCK!"

"AIG!"

"EEL!"

The two spandex wearing creepers came together to show their appreciation for one of another by hugging it out. Waterfalls crashed in the background of this epic and tear jerking show. This somehow upsets people.

"Man, this troublesome show sure is troublesome in such a troublesome way. This is so honestly troublesome that one word cannot describe this troublesome spectacle. In a way, I think that the world troublesome may suffice."

"Yeah, un! Speech impediment, un? No way, un. This is my personality, un. Boom, hehehe, un." Deidara spoke, un.

"Yippee! I'm never even alive this long for me to get a personality and I hope its goo…" Sasori was to busy dying by the hand of Sakura to complete his sentence. Haha, wat a n00b. Wo getz killd bi Sakra? Lozzer.

"Hoopla! I finally did something! Punch you in the face Naruto!" Sakura shouted.

"Evil Laugh. Hehehe" Mizuki laughed evilly, giving a flawed plan to steal a scroll that an academy student stole.

"Snort." Ino the Pig snorted.

"I make me some chicken. Then I cook the chicken. Then I eat the chicken cause it tastes good, and I'll be all, mmm chicken you taste marvelous. And the chicken will talk from my tummy and be like, yah Tobi, you did a good thing eating me. You're a good boy. A very berry good boy. Mmhmm! Chicken is the yummiest yum that ever yummed. Smoothie." Tobi said.

"I. Like. One Piece. And I love you Naruto. You are one bad mamma jamma!" Iruka said, getting his fanboy juices on everybody.

" I am Ichigo Kurosaaaaaki. I am retaraaaaarded. This is my bankai. It is also retaaaaaaaaarded." Ichigo said.

"What? I'm not dead either! Woot Woot!" Hiruzen cheered, but then he died.

You know what. I'm tired of this. Everybody who eventually dies during canon drop to the ground right now.

"BLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHH" Orochimaru, Haku, Zabuza, Jiriaya… wait… Jiryuiaia? Juraiasda? Jurkiaya? You know what, screw it, his name from now on is Ted. Everybody join me!"

"TED! TED! TED! TED!" Everybody chanted, including you reader. You better be chanting. Or I'm going to send Ted after you. And probably Kisame. He lacks friends.

Anyways. Along with Orochimaru, Haku, Ted, Danzo, Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, Kakuzu, and everybody else that eventually dies, dies right here in this room, then poofs away. Its not like they matter. Or have that much of personality anyways in most fanfics. Their just for Naruto's personality. Wink.

"I hate this village! Wah! My life sucks! My life is good! My name is not Naruto, because I am a girl! You win Fizz, I concede." Naruto said, ending this craptastic omake for what it is. Mostly because I don't want to write it anymore. Hooray for being lazy. Or should I say troublesome? HAHAHAHA!


	4. Zefron vrs The Beiber!

Here we go. Instead of the omake like last chapter, I've decided to get back to something that is probably slightly more important. The skim milk plot that an author came up with, and because of lack of stories I like on the site, I figure people probably are bored with the stories on the site too. If anyone and I mean ANYONE knows any good stories, tell me about them. I need good things to read. Anyways, here comes the story.

But first: Some anonymous reviewer told me very politely, which I appreciate, that chapter 2 was a long rant about Perfect Lionheart. And I thank you for telling me that! This story is SUPPOSED to be trash, but its supposed to be funny trash. Or at least crack-trash. Putting in that long rant was just not the point of this story. So, my bad on that one.

Disclaimer: Funny Comment.

**Chapter 4: Sense When Does Any One Use Chapter Titles? Get With the Times Fizz!**

Nactrou correctly performed the 'zOMFG no Jutsu' to completely obliterate the training dummy where him and his group of technically missing ninjas were training. They are missing cause come on Lionheart and fellow authors, try to think rationally. Here's a flashback to make my point valid.

FLASHBACK! NO JUSTUUUUUU!

"WELLLLLL, Tsunade stole the container for the 9 tailed fox which an evil organization is searching for, our funding, our treasures from our countries history with important back story goodness, and a scroll full of the most powerful and destructive jutsu ever known, so maybe we should go after them. But then on the other hand, she left us some Chinese food and a ticket to go see Furry Vengeance. So, I guess were all good." A random member of the evil ninja council said to his fellow evil ninja council members.

"But what about Hinata? And Furry Vengeance, that movie sucked!" Another evil ninja council member shouted.

"Just shut up evil ninja council member number 3, no one cares about her. And Furry Vengeance was the best thing that happened to the movie world sense the Hannah Montana Movie!" The evil ninja council member shouted to number 3.

"And the Chinese food expired last month!" Number 3 shouted back.

"You want to know what Number 3, want to know what I'm thinking. I'm thinking I'm tired of your attitude! No one appreciates it and if you want to continue being apart of the evil ninja council you've got to be less cynical! That gets you no where!" The leader of the evil ninja council shouted at Number 3.

"Your right Number 3, I'm sorry, you know I've been having those problems lately…"

"Yeah, I know, hemorrhoids bothers everyone. We still on for rollerblading?"

"Of course girlfriend!"

**Flashback End? **

"Yay! Look what I did during the flashback Tsunade!" Heenata shouted, showing of her training dummy with a skirt on it.

"Shut up Hinata." Tsunafaede replied back.

"Anyways," Naerahto started, "I feel as if there is a need for something to be said."

Everyone looked at the beastly beast, waiting for his announcement. "Me being the only contact to Fizz just told me that we all just mastered the scroll of forbidden sealing and medical training. And my new bloodlines. Huzzah. But not you Hinota, your like Tea from Yu-Gi-Oh."

Tzundae and Natrue both highfived, leaving Hikaru out of the wonderful l33t ness, cuz she sooks.

"SPELL-CHECK NO JUTSU!" Hinata shouted, forcing me to spell things correctly. Looks like she does have some sort of twisted use…

"OH NO! Hinata! You ignorant slut! You did the one thing that fanfic writers are unable to do! Spell things correctly!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs, as the looming sky above them turned to the darkest and most dreadful black.

"Oh god, oh god, OH GOD! Description! You baka! The only other thing that can happen before _they _awaken is make us talk in… ENGLISH!" Tsunade shouted her pigtails spiraling behind her as the wind picked up. "Wait… I think your spell-check technique is starting to wear off…"

"WHAT IS THAT!" Naruto shouted as he pointed to a decayed hand that dug its way out of the soil.

"That," Shizune started in her creepy man voice, "is what we call the fourth wall zombie. They come up to protect the fourth wall to be completely destroyed. They say that a few characters can communicate with the author of this story, and that would be you Naruto. But, once the characters start to read the story, the zombie appears. This zombie goes by many different names, Tyrell, Darrel, Carlton, Uncle Phil, Fred, and Katsura. But we call him the elusive and rare Justin Beiber!"

"AAAAH!" Naruto shouted, as he is a rational person and fears the Beiber, as his charismatic personality and awesome hair will make one go through the evil and dreaded virus, Beiber Fever.

"And I was like baby, baby, baby, oh! Baby, baby, baby, no!" Beiber started to sing his hit song, swaying his hair and doing some dance moves that made his hair flip.

"I… Can't resist… the Beiber…" Tsunade started to say as she started to fall to the ground.

"No! Tsunade! You can pull through this!" Naruto shouted at the top of his lungs.

"I… Don't think I can… there is only one thing that can save me from the Beiber Fever… and it's almost completely unlikely that he would show…"

Tsunade started, but was interrupted by a charismatic and talented actor/singer flew in from the nearby forest and kicked The Beiber in the chest. "It's me!" he started to say, "The wonderful and magnificent Zefron!"

"Uggghhhh! Beware young travelers! Next time you break the fourth wall, I'll get my revenge! And Zefron won't be around forever! HAHAHAHA!" The Beiber shouted as he sank into the ground from which he came.

"Just remember kids, the power of Zefron will always be with you! Specifically you Naruto!" Zefron said as he placed his pointer finger on Naruto's forehead. The finger glowed blue and seeped into Naruto's head. "I must be somewhere else young ones! Heeyeah! He shouted as he turned into a giant lion and hopped away.

"Wait," Naruto said, "What just happened?"

_**'mAwesome**_

What new powers does Naruto have thanks to Zefron? Will The Beiber ever get his revenge? Since when does this story have plot? Find out next time on Missing Parodykage!


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